That's me. And that's the problem.
"I will not accept what I have now if I know I deserve better"
I mean, I don't see the point. Clearly a majority of people don't enjoy what they do when they serve. What we all constantly look forward to, is ORD. That's so unhealthy. It's just that I embrace it, and I'm willing to take action and change that. I believe it's possible. Isn't it better to try and cross the river than to stay where you are and keep on wondering what's it like over at the other side?
Everyone says, "Just give them this 2 years and we're done. Just tolerate." NO. 2 years is a lot of time. And I'm not saying that I don't want to serve, I want to serve properly. And by properly, I mean using my capabilities to the fullest and to constantly grow as a person.
The few months before I enlisted, I was living an amazing life. It was filled with lots of personal development, friends, passion, and exercise. I was exposed to such incredible knowledge almost every single day, stuff about life that'll make you go, "OHHHHHH" and "DAMN I wish I knew this earlier...". In addition, I could put what I learnt to immediate use, because I had all the time on my hands. I was also able to, very easily, put together material into compositions and share it in this blog. It was a time where I experienced 'daily enlightment', where I was constantly connecting with my higher-self: that part of you that's smarter and wiser and everything better than you currently are. The more often you connect, the faster and better you grow as a person. (I know I may sound a little crazy at this point of time) What I really loved about that period of time was continuous achievement.
In NS, a lucky few are given vocations and environments that are in line with their nature and inner-desires. However, as for the rest who serve unhappily, they are often told, "Just accept, you have no choice." Those who follow this idea, I'm afraid, may also be like that in their adulthood. I mean, look, it seems perfectly fine, normal and healthy, and it makes one happy, right? No. Imagining having this state of mind, when they are out in the society, as adults completely in charge of their own lives. When faced with issues such as: 'I'm not happy with my current job', 'I'm not making enough money as I'd like', 'I'm not living true to myself', 'I have trouble finding a girlfriend', and 'I hate my beer belly', they tell themselves...
And then they live like that all their lives, conforming to the society's expectations, afraid to take risks, unwilling to do the things that make them truely happy. (and I don't mean going around shooting innocent people)
And then it comes to the day when it's time for them to leave, and they die with regrets.
Some people may think, "I'll just think this way for NS, it's really impossible to do anything about it. After that, I'll change."
Does it work?
We, humans, are creatures of habit. If we hated maths all our lives, we're probably gonna hate it forever. If we haven't been comfortable talking to strangers since young, and we keep on telling ourselves, "It's okay," everytime we try to start a conversation but back out at the last moment, then the chances are, it's gonna stay the same way. Until we make the decision to break that self-created barrier one day.